Before grandchildren, I created a business: Spirit…Rest. (www.spiritrest.org)
I offer spiritual and 12-step retreats (1- 3 days), spiritual companionship/guidance for individuals and groups, and labyrinth walks using a 24-foot portable labyrinth.
Spirit..Rest has been on sabbatical for a while.
My daughters each had a baby this year. Maggie was born January 11 with a heart abnormality that will be repaired later this year. Atticus was born April 2 with a penis. That’s new for us. He has a 2-year-old sister, Adaline.
Our girls are terrific moms, but they are both still trying to figure out when to shower. And eat. And breathe.
Sometimes they need to express their emotions. Historically I’ve been the one to listen. They are just beginning to learn that their father will listen, for a bit, if he has to.
The emotional energy in my house stunned me last week. Maggie and her mom were here while we had Adaline for 3 days. So were the three dogs we all own. Atticus was born by planned C-section that took longer than we expected. And I had the worst back pain I’ve ever had (why??).
I know that all I can really do for my family is to be present and emotionally available, love them, and pray for them. That can still feel, at times, like a full-time job.
“What about me?”
I feel weird asking that question out loud.
Grandmother and mother heresy–that’s what that question feels like–”a belief or theory that is strongly at variance with established beliefs, customs, etc.” (according to dictionary.com).
Wife and mother/grandmother is a comfortable, familiar role for me and I’m good at it.
Spiritual guide, retreat leader, writer–those challenge me.
And complete me.
“Only a well-fed soul can offer sustenance to others.” (Peggy Tabor Millin)
Balance. Forever a challenge.