God will keep giving us opportunities to learn we are not in control. I read that in a book this morning. You know it’s true, don’t you?
I’m getting better about not-so-significant stuff, like lines and being on hold and the whole health insurance mess. But the big stuff still gets me in the pit of my stomach. You know that cold, dark, heavy spot in your gut when you know one of your kids is in trouble or really struggling? (It is one of the few things that can kill my desire to eat.) That’s when you know you’re not in control and are powerless. What’s left at that point but anger and prayer and tears?
The retired man I live with struggles with this more than I do, I think. Yesterday morning plugs in the wall of our house that faces the street stopped working. Adaline was coming for the day and the tree lights wouldn’t go on. To him, a major issue. And, I have to say, a bit unnerving in a 55-year-old house. No circuits were off so it was kind of weird.
The retired man I live with called an electrician. They can send someone Monday. (Yesterday was Thursday.) So he called my brother who lives 3 hours away but knows a lot about electrician stuff. For hours they tried to troubleshoot the wiring in that wall. I told the retired man I live with that I would kill him if I had to call an ambulance for him while Adaline was at our house. He kept at it.
It’s not fixed. We have no Christmas lights. He is unhappy. And not a whole lot of fun to be around.
God keeps giving us chances to learn we are not in control.