While I was procrastinating this morning about writing a blog post, I called one of my grown daughters. I thought I accepted a decision she and her husband made last week. I listened to myself, once again, begin to manipulate her into changing her mind.
I tried to stop.
Eventually I did.
I’m not proud of myself.
And she didn’t change her mind.
After that phone call, I got down to business. I looked back through some quotes/ideas I saved for non-inspired writing mornings. I found one after another about “acceptance.”
Halfway through copying and pasting them into this post, I made the connection between all these quotes and my earlier conversation with my daughter.
Guess I’m the one who needs these. How humbling.
I thought I was doing this for you!
My friend, Lisa, picks a word for the year each January. Her word for last year was “accept”. She wrote this on her blog:
“Accept is one of those words that often gets a bad rap. Sometimes it’s confused with giving-up. On the contrary, accepting is about choice and power. It’s about recognizing what you can and can’t control and taking the next.right.step for yourself.
When life isn’t going as you’d prefer, accept that you can handle it. You really can. Accept that you can simply say,”Bring it on! Here I am. Let it be. I accept!”
One of Lisa’s heroes is Michael J Fox. Here’s what he says about acceptance:
“I don’t look at life as a battle or as a fight. I don’t think I’m scrappy. I’m accepting. I say ‘living with’ or ‘working through’ Parkinson’s. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it. I look at it like I’m a fluid that’s finding the fissures and cracks and flowing through.”
Acceptance, for me, requires a gut-level faith that something bigger than me is watching over this world and that it all makes sense on some level above my pay-grade.
The Serenity Prayer
The serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
This next one is a challenge!
The Welcoming Prayer
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me today because I know it’s for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations, and conditions.
I let go of my desire for power and control.
I let go of my desire for affection, esteem, approval and pleasure.
I let go of my desire for survival and security.
I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person or myself.
I open to the love and presence of God and God’s action within.
(For an explanation and some instruction in using The Welcoming Prayer, click here.)
Sometimes I forget that things can get better. I need to remember hope can be part of acceptance.
“Grounded hope is hope with acceptance. Acceptance is a tricky concept. Accepting your circumstances can sometimes be perceived as though you have resigned to your situation. Some see it as giving up. Submission. But on the contrary; acceptance is an active and dynamic process.
Acceptance is about moving forward despite your circumstances. It is moving forward and bringing your circumstances along with you. When your hope is grounded by accepting your reality, then you are able to transcend your past and begin to build your future…Pairing acceptance with hope…frees you to move forward through your situation and to a point where true healing can begin.” (Danny Burgess, Ph.D.)
“Instead of making the world around us or our own selves into the image of what we think is good, we enter the lifelong process of no longer arranging the world and the people on our terms (my italics). We embrace what is given to us–people, spouse, children, forests, weather, city–just as they are given to us, and sit and stare, look and listen until we begin to see and hear the God-dimensions in each gift, and engage with what God has given, with what God is doing.” (Eugene H. Peterson)
“We enter the lifelong process of no longer arranging the world and the people on our terms.”
You mean this process is never going to end?
I’m never going to get it once and for all?
So, to my daughter–I’m sorry I pressured you again. It wasn’t fair and I will now re-read all these quotes on acceptance and hope that they will come to mind the next time I need them.
PS: Just as I finished this, hours after our conversation, my daughter called to say she and her husband changed their minds about doing what I hoped they would do. (But not because of anything I said.)
My God has a sense of humor!