I’m Workin’ On It

My friends and I are people who work on our issues.

Family of Origin Stuff. Addictions. Letting Go.

Fear. Faith. Living Life on Life’s Terms.

Truly, we are not a dour, depressed, gloomy bunch.

We laugh a lot.

One friend proposed a few years ago that we make buttons, like campaign buttons that are round and have a plastic cover over the candidate’s name and picture and a big pin on the back.  The button would say in big, bold letters:

“I’m workin’ on it!”

For days, I walked through my life noticing how many times I could have used The Button.

“Are you going to pick that stuff up?”

Point to The Button–“I’m workin’ on it!”

“Are you going to fix dinner?”

Point to The Button.

“How’s your program these days?”

Point to The Button.

“Why are you so grouchy?”

Point to The Button.

“Have you finished __________?”

Point to The Button.  “I’m workin’ on it!”

During that time, I was worried and frustrated about the behavior and choices of someone I love.  I’m almost always working on Letting Go of someone, although who I worry and obsess about varies.

I decided to walk the labyrinth (a circular walking meditation path) at Holy Trinity Church. It is a big one made of inlaid stone in an outdoor courtyard. I wanted to come out of the labyrinth less crazed and more peaceful in my head and in my soul.

Sometimes walking this labyrinth is just a relaxing way to be outside.

Other times I’ve had insights about how to resolve challenges.

This time I heard God’s voice.

I walked into the labyrinth slowly, holding my hands open–trying to willingly give my loved one to God, trying to be open to God’s grace and peace.  My brain was racing, giving God the bullet points of the situation and my plan for God’s intervention and resolution.

I kept slowing my pace and re-opening my clenched fingers.  It was a long walk in.  At the center, I sat on a wrought-iron bench and tried to feel God’s Presence and relax into it.  Didn’t happen.

I am not a good cry-er.  That got squashed out of me in elementary school.  Sometimes the best I can do is feel the tears behind my burning eyes and let them kind of leak out one by one.

I was leaking as I left the labyrinth center.

I hadn’t surrendered my plan, but my head knew it probably wouldn’t work and my body was weary from all that “workin’ on it”.

I was about halfway out of the labyrinth when I sort of woke up, looked around, and felt like I had somehow lost my way on the path.

I stopped, breathed, and heard a voice say,

“I’m workin’ on it”.

I knew I was alone.  I looked around.

It happened again.

“I’m workin’ on it”.

I puckered up my forehead in a question mark.

Then I knew.

God was pointing to The Button.

“I’m workin’ on it.”

Published in: Uncategorized on July 7, 2010 at 1:23 am  Comments (10)  
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10 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I am so touched by your post. We often send up our prayers and feel like God isn’t listening to us. This is the first time I’ve ever heard an explanation of why we might not always understand the order of God’s plan. Its interesting for me to think that even God has to take time to process and figure out how He’s going to “fix it”. Your story left me with a sense of peace and a willingness to let go. Thanks so much for sharing, you are an amazing writer!

  2. Caroline, Thank you. There is real food for thought in your comment.

  3. I love the I’m working on it. I always have to say that to myself! It gives me a sense of hope. You are a wonderful writer. I loved reading every word.
    Love you!

  4. Today I needed to read this message – today my labyrinth/patio is finished and as I have pondered the intention of my first walk this is now sending me out the door, truly ready for it. Thank you Robin!

    • Congratulations on the labyrinth! I can’t wait to see it.
      Blessings, Mona.

  5. Robin, i am SO thrilled you’ve started this blog – THANK YOU! thanks, too for the “…working on it” lesson. save one of those buttons for me 🙂
    looking forward to more lessons from my favorite Desert Amma.

    • Thank you, Lisa and Marjorie. Your opinions matter to me and your encouragement means a lot. I like the idea that we are all prayerfully connected.

  6. Well, congratulations on your first (of many I trust) inspiring blog entries, Robin/Amma. I’ve sent the link to the Holy Trinity Labyrinth Keepers.

    And, Mona, I want to hear more about the labyrinth that you have built on your patio. I would be honored to walk it.

    The labyrinth community is truly connected on many levels, but always by our energetic prayerful presence in one another’s lives.

    And, hey, the grandmothers of the world are connected, too. What a lovely model you provide Robin for me (I am Nana) as I find my place with Tyler and Mary Catherine. Yes, if we can provide that quiet place, the younger parents can do the jungle gyms.

    Thank you Robin for gifting me today with your words and inspiration. Keep writing. You are on the right ministry track here.
    Love, Marjorie

  7. […] of my early blog posts was titled “I’m Workin’ On It”–please click here to check it […]

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