Sledgehammer Therapy

My husband destroyed an expensive new Cuisinart coffee maker with a built-in bean-grinder.

He used a sledgehammer.

In the driveway.

(He said I could write about it.)

Afterward, he said he felt great–better than he’d felt in weeks.  No wonder he says counseling is a waste of time.  Sledgehammers work much faster.

I had several options for responding.  I could have gotten really angry.  I could have been scared.  I could have laughed.  I chose to say very little and keep on with my day.  I knew something else was bothering him, although the fancy, complicated coffee maker didn’t work right.  (I suggested operator error…once.)

I know my husband.  We’ve been married 36 years.  I am not afraid of him.  He is a gentle, caring man who only wants to love his family and protect us from any distress.  Nobody gets to do that.  And it frustrates him.

I’ve learned to look at HALT ( Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) when life is making me crazy. 

Hungry?  I am rarely hungry, but sometimes I don’t choose healthy foods.  That doesn’t help me cope.

Angry?  I usually stuff anger, so it’s important for me to dig around a bit in my feelings.  For my husband, anger sometimes masks other feelings like fear and sadness.

Lonely?  I need a lot of alone time, so I don’t get lonely much.  I turn this question upside down and ask, have I been around people too much?

Tired?  I need a lot of sleep.  I’m at my best after 8-9 hours.  (That means I don’t get much accomplished after dinner.)

I’m kind of jealous of my husband’s sledge hammer episode.  He got rid of a lot of intense feelings, I think.

Anyone need to borrow the sledgehammer?

Advertisements

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://ammaponders.wordpress.com/2010/11/09/sledgehammer-therapy/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

14 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I get first dibs…….

    • It’s in the Dorko genetic code!

  2. Yep, I’ve got that gene…just ask Bill.

  3. Sweetest dad in the whole world. That’s all I can say.

    • Right, Steph. And the two of you are a lot alike.

  4. This is too funny!!! this has got to be a Dorko thing. You don’t know how many times my husband had to stop me from “fixing” things with a hammer. Unfortunately, or maybe I should say fortunately, we don’t own a sledge hammer.

    • You guys are scaring me!

  5. Tell Mike I have a 12 gauge and a pumpkin if he runs out of highly wired gizmos that FNASU. My Vodoo Doll looks just like Bill Gates, who for an autistic has done rather well.

    I hope he gets ‘heaven for windows’. That’s hell for the rest of us.

    But you’re right; no one can keep us totally free from harm.

    • Now you know why Mike shouldn’t have a gun!

  6. Robin, I decided to check my aol account for mail — which I have almost never done over the past 6 years– and that’s how I came across your info about this blog.
    Just want to share that my term [or is it “jail term”]
    in leadership is coming to an end this summer…and I am hoping that Fr. Louie will be able to offer me a place at St. Francis Springs…PRAY…PRAY…PRAY…my spirit longs to be in North Carolina again!!!!!

    • Your spirit still lingers here, Josita. We just need your body to get here. I’m sending very persuasive energy to Fr. Louie!

  7. I think I have that same coffee maker! I have no trouble with it, but when friends try to operate it, they do have difficulty.

    HALT is a good acronym to remember. My short-term crankiness is usually hunger. Longer term craziness is usually being tired–having too much on my plate.

    • Susan, thanks for continuing to read this. Mike is now using a plain old plugin percolator. But he got really frustrated with his laptop yesterday. It’s still intact!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: