Who Says?

No dessert until you eat your vegetables.

No playing until you finish your chores.

Those messages, that mindset, are planted deep in my psyche and have the power to paralyze me.

I got some stuff delivered from Lands End recently.  Internally, I heard “Don’t open the box of new stuff until you finish putting away the clean laundry”.  And I didn’t.

Writing for this blog is playtime for me.  So of course I hear “You can’t write for fun until you finish your chores”.  And I don’t.

I feel guilty when my husband makes a comment about the dishes in the sink while I’m sitting and reading the paper.

No fun until you meet expectations.  Who says??

I’m not very good at silly and spontaneous.  No wonder.  I remember a therapist asked me years ago what I did for fun.  I didn’t have an answer.  I thought that was awfully sad.

My husband and I rode the bus downtown on New Year’s Eve, went in the View to get my glasses adjusted, ate lunch at Fincastle’s Diner (we had fried pickles–OMG–and Jaybird came over and sang “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” to me!), then we rode the bus home.

That may not sound like a big deal to you, especially if you live someplace where everyone takes public transportation.  Here, that was kind of adventurous.  I don’t think Mike ever got over being surprised I went with him.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become less concerned with what other people think.  And I take delight (sometimes)  in NOT following all the rules.

“Do not be too moral.  You may cheat yourself out of too much life.  Aim above morality.  Be not simply good; be good for something.”  (a quote from Henry David Thoreau)

You should…  Who says?

You must…  Who says?

No, you can’t…  Who says?

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Published in: on January 5, 2011 at 2:48 pm  Comments (9)  
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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Who says? I always remember my mother saying you shouldn’t do laundry on Sunday, or any other Holy Day. I did laundry on Christmas morning and guess what my dryer broke. All I could hear was Betty saying I told you so. Who says? Betty says………..

    • OMG! Your mom has some power. What else did she tell you so I can avoid angering her?

      • When your a teenager and all your friends are going here and there and doing this and that, and you ask if you can to, she always said if they jump off the bridge would you jump too…. it’s all coming back to me now.

    • This was my belly laugh for today!

      • Glad you liked it!

  2. Smiling here. I just posted something regarding doing what we should when it should be done and why we often don’t. Then I clicked on “readomatic” and found your post……… Hmmmmmmm.

    • Thanks for reading. I need to check out “readomatic”, I think.

  3. I use the reward system to make myself do those tasks that I dread doing–but once in a while I just get up and make myself some coffee and work on my blog until noon, while still in my pajamas. You should try it once in a while!

    • That sounds wonderful! Like a silent retreat in my office.


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