Dog Food Diet

We drove to Costco to buy a big bag of Alpo for our dog.  While he paid and I waited behind the cart, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Why else would I be buying dog food??

On impulse, I told her that, no, I didn’t have a dog.

I told her I was starting the Alpo Diet again and that it was essentially a perfect diet. All you have to do is load your pockets with Alpo Nuggets and eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

Even though I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time.  I lost almost 50 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a cute poodle’s butt and a car hit me!

Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer.  I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.  My hair is all shades of gray and I’m almost 60.  I figure I can get away with most anything.  Fooled you, didn’t I?

I bet you needed a giggle about now.  Share and make someone else smile today.

I stole this idea from my friend Lisa.  Check out her blog (click here) and her website (click here).  She makes beautiful cards and posters.

Published in: on December 9, 2011 at 11:13 am  Comments (7)  
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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Hey Mom this is funny but Alpo is terrible for Sydney. Just sayin’!

  2. In the eyes of our children even our sane moments are fundamentally wrong. Alpo is terrible? Who knew?

    • She feeds her dog better than her pregnant self!

  3. I just bought Sydney a bag of the good dog food, 2 cans of human grade canned food and a Christmas dog cookie. I bet she feels MUCH BETTER soon! 🙂

    • I was with her. The Christmas dog cookie looked pretty good.

  4. Mix in a little grease from the local food trough. Dogs need more fat than the dry food will ever give them. My group has a sausage breakfast every month. I dump the grease over the leftover biscuits and cut them up in Mousa’s food at 2/wk.

    Sort of like baby oil: How many babies have you ever heard squeak?

    • I think the grease would affect the weight loss, don’t you?
      And I’ve heard many a baby “squeak”.

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