Dog Food Diet

We drove to Costco to buy a big bag of Alpo for our dog.  While he paid and I waited behind the cart, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Why else would I be buying dog food??

On impulse, I told her that, no, I didn’t have a dog.

I told her I was starting the Alpo Diet again and that it was essentially a perfect diet. All you have to do is load your pockets with Alpo Nuggets and eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

Even though I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time.  I lost almost 50 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a cute poodle’s butt and a car hit me!

Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer.  I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.  My hair is all shades of gray and I’m almost 60.  I figure I can get away with most anything.  Fooled you, didn’t I?

I bet you needed a giggle about now.  Share and make someone else smile today.

I stole this idea from my friend Lisa.  Check out her blog (click here) and her website (click here).  She makes beautiful cards and posters.

Published in: on December 9, 2011 at 11:13 am  Comments (7)  
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I wanted a couple of tomatoes for a new salad recipe.  It’s August in North Carolina–luscious, ripe tomatoes smelling of Mother Earth are everywhere.  That was the problem.

Where to go for my tomatoes?

1. Harris Teeter (the grocery store)–the big, big one or the smaller one with less stuff?  I could get the rest of what we needed all in one trip.  That meant less use of the car and a smaller carbon footprint, but probably a disappointing tomato.

2.  Farmer’s Market–the one by the baseball stadium, the newer one downtown, or the huge one out by the highway?  I could help the local farmers.

3.  Deep Roots (the co-op grocery)–more limited selection and often crowded, but guaranteed local and quickest to get out of.

4.  Earth Fare (like Whole Foods, but a NC chain)–I’d have to choose between organic and conventional and get past the amazing cheese selection.

I was immobilized by the abundance of tomato sources.  The more I thought about it, the less I wanted tomatoes.

Is it whining to say I’m tired of having so many choices?  Have you bought toothpaste or salad dressing lately?  Try picking a chicken soup for your soul or a cereal to feed your inner child.

I KNOW how fortunate I am to have choices and money to pay for my tomatoes.  It feels wrong to complain about abundance.  But my brain gets tired sorting all the information for each set of choices.  I do want to make the “right” choice for me, for my family, and for the survival of this planet.

(Oh, please.)

I bought a tomato yesterday at the smaller Harris Teeter.  It was easiest at the end of a draining day.  But I may have to go to Deep Roots today.  Fresh mozzarella deserves more than a grocery store tomato.

Published in: on August 26, 2010 at 5:13 pm  Comments (3)  
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