“GIRL!!” came the text last Friday from the doctor’s office. We have another grandchild on the way! Stephanie and her husband, Will, are due in January. They had an ultrasound and saw her moving her hands and crossing her ankles like a proper lady. Wow.
A week ago I woke from a dream at 4:30 am unsure of where I was or even what year it was. In my dream I was again a young mother of two preschoolers on a really bad day. Everything was out-of-order, me most of all, and I was spiraling down in anger and frustration. I wasn’t seeing me at my worst. I WAS me at my worst.
I wrote down what I could recall and later that day wrote about the power and the feelings in the dream. I can’t let go of this dream. I feel the out-of-control-ness. It still scares me.
I was anxious during my second pregnancy about my ability to manage 2 kids in diapers in 2 car seats. They were both very much planned and welcomed, but the second happened quicker than I anticipated. They are 26 months apart. Our grandchildren will be 23 months apart.
I know I’m not that young, overwhelmed woman any more. And neither are my daughters. I’ve worked hard for years to understand and learn from that time in my life. I hope I’ve passed some of my wisdom on to them.
I am wondering, though, why that dream now?
Amma Ponders 