1. You can’t see your own ears. Unless you look in a mirror.
I heard someone say that 3 days ago and it’s still stuck in my mind, a random, useless, captivating piece of information. If I were an artist I’d draw a head on a long neck twisting around like a spring. The face would be laughing.
2. It’s a wonder the parts of the body work at all. There are a few flaws in the design. Like knees.
And the uterus is above the bladder. A pregnant woman I know couldn’t pee for 12 hours. Her baby was the size of an avocado. (See babycenter.com.) Her growing uterus shifted just enough to block urine trying to come out of her bladder. Kind of like when you step on a hose hard to block the water so you can release it and spray your sister in the face. Maybe the pregnant woman will uncork the tube from her catheter and spray it like little boys do.
3. I’m at the beach. At 8:00 am I sit on the balcony with my hot green tea and listen to the ocean and watch the waves just keep coming. My soul rests.
I love the beach. I want to hear it and see it. I don’t go on the beach these days. I sunburn easily and my brother has had melanoma. I’m afraid of twisting my un-artificial knee. I don’t like being hot. And I’m never sure I’ll be able to get up if I sit down on the sand.
I love the beach, especially anytime other than summer. I want an oceanfront condo with a shaded balcony, an unobstructed view of the waves and a comfortable chair with a way to prop up my feet. A squishy couch for naps, a good novel, a copy of The Sun Magazine and five days of solitude all pamper my Spirit.
4. Most living creatures are fine. My zookeeper daughter used to take care of snakes and reptiles. The little squiggly things have personalities. One skink (no, not skunk) cuddled against her neck when she picked it up. The snakes were boring, but I didn’t mind being in the snake room. Her dad and her husband did.
However. Slugs are totally disgusting and give me the shivers. Slugs came to our front step every time it rained at our old house. Some were the size of a fat dill pickle from a barrel at Mast General Store in Boone.
You can kill a slug by pouring salt on it. It probably suffocates. I bought lots of round, blue salt boxes each spring for 7 years. I got excited, almost giddy, when I poured salt on the slugs. (I killed the slugs when my kids weren’t watching.)
I’m not really a kind, compassionate person.
Amma Ponders 